Relationship Coach

Relationships can be complicated and difficult. If you are struggling to build a solid relationship or wondering if you should stay or leave, identifying your core patterns and attachment styles may be the first step to transform your love life.

You deserve a satisfying, passionate, committed relationship full of trust, security, intimacy, and affection. Today’s world is filled with challenges… Are you:

  • Confused about whether you should stay or end the relationship
  • Caught in a negative communication cycle causing non-stop arguments
  • Dealing with a toxic relationship and don’t know what to do
  • Considering a breakup or divorce
  • Feel ignored and invisible
  • Growing apart and want to reconnect
  • Feeling lonely, unheard, and unsupported in your relationship
  • Caught up in emotional baggage from past relationships and want to let it go
  • Needing more trust with your partner and are unsure how to forgive any hurt
  • Trapped in co-dependent patterns

I can help you create a healthy love life full of intimacy, connection and satisfaction…or help you figure out if it’s time to leave. Wishing and hope your partner will change, or your relationship will be better, is not going to create change. If you are single and looking for love and in the dating world, read more on my love and dating page

How Well Do You Know Your Partner and how well do you know yourself?

Discovering your patterns and your partner’s patterns are key to developing a deep and loving relationship. Love comes in many forms. Happy relationships can be the most amazing experiences in the world, but growing love and navigating communications is not something we are taught in school, and many people did not have the role models to reference. I believe in science and data, which I bring into our work together…

The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse

My relationship coaching is based on the work of Dr. Gottman’s and his four decades of research with thousands of couples and Marshal Rosenbergs Violent Communication along with other modalities on improving relationships, compatibility, and intimacy.

Core to the understanding of healthy relationships is John Gottmans, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They are Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling. While most relationships will have some of these, healthy relationships don’t use them nearly as often.

What is your attachment style?

Attachment theory, developed by Bowlby and Ainsworth found that the nature in which infants get their needs met by their parents significantly contributes to their “attachment strategy” throughout their lives.

Your attachment style can very well explain why your relationships fail or succeed, who you are attracted to and why you experience certain emotions when meeting a new partner. The good news is that your attachment style can change over time — although it’s slow and difficult.

The four child/adult attachment styles are:
  • Secure
  • Avoidant
  • Anxious
  • Disorganized

There are variations within that including anxious-avoider and other combinations. Uncovering your style and the style of the people you are in a relationship to can be mind-blowing!

Understanding Your Core Self-Defeating Beliefs

According to George Pratt and Peter Lambrou, there are seven core limiting “I am…” statements that almost all self-defeating beliefs originate from and they are:

  • I am not safe.
  • I am worthless.
  • I am powerless.
  • I am not loveable.
  • I cannot trust others.
  • I am bad.
  • I am alone.

Love and relationships can be hard. People have heartbreaks that they carry around for decades after a divorce, an unexpected ending or an existing relationship. If you are holding onto pain and can’t let it go, and it’s preventing you from moving forward with your life, I can help!